Raelyn Claire's birth story

I knew I wanted to write this while it was still fresh because the details of Raelyn's birth show so clearly God's hand in it all. She's 2 days old and I keep singing to myself  "How great thou art" as I look at the face of this sweet girl that I never could have anticipated. The words to this song are painted on the walls in our living room, something I did while 5 months pregnant with her.

I had been having contractions every evening for the past week and was feeling quite disappointed when my due date came and went. Each evening I would have pretty consistent contractions that would fizzle out after a few hours leaving me wondering what was going on and feeling sore. One of the midwives I worked with Monica said that it most likely was because my body was trying to kick into labor but the baby wasn't in the right position yet. Monica was the midwife from the birth center that I connected with the most. She has an incredible nurturing spirit and just so happens to be a pastor's wife so I prayed that she would be the one present for this baby's birth and she was, well sort of, I'll get to that. So I spent time on my hands and knees and tried to move this baby into the right position but could do nothing myself. Tuesday evening (February 24th) around 7 my contractions were picking up again and I decided to call my midwife and in some ways I was debating even calling because I figured nothing would come of it all yet again. The two midwives on call for the night were Deb and Monica. Monica suggested Deb come over and work with me as she specializes in baby positioning. John put the boys to sleep in their beds and Deb and her assistant Sophie arrived by about 8:30pm. Deb checked me and said that I was really not dilated or effaced at all which is something that no pregnant woman wants to hear. She analyzed the baby's position externally and internally and said exactly what Monica did: that my body was trying to kick into labor but the baby wasn't in the right position. Deb worked with me for a while to move the baby by doing things like having me kneel on our top step and walk my hands down the stairs moving the baby out of my pelvis and I had to stay that way for a few contractions. I was highly regretting the amount of quesadillas I ate at dinner at this point. She had me stand with my hands against the wall while she swayed my hips and tummy. She had me lay down on the couch and squeeze my knees together while she tried to pull them apart and then vice versa. Then her and Sophie said we should relax for a while and they went downstairs to leave John and I alone. All this time I was breathing through contractions. I am SO thankful for the training I received in deep breathing and learning how to breathe into the pain and breathe towards places in your body. As the night progressed and contractions became gradually more intense I would breathe deeply and say to myself, "I trust the Lord". I get teary (dang hormones) just thinking of this phrase now.

At about midnight Deb came and checked me again and said that I had made a tiny bit of progress but that I still had a ways to go, again not what any pregnant woman wants to hear! She said that I needed to try to sleep and suggested that take a sleeping pill. John ran out to pick one up from a 24 hour Walgreens and was home by about 12:45am. I took the pill and both Deb and Sophie packed things up to head home so we could sleep. Before they went out the door Deb told us that when things happened they could happen fast and talked us through what to do if it was just the two of us delivering this baby. I could feel my contractions getting more intense but because my water hadn't broken, I didn't lose my mucus plug and I hadn't made any progress I told myself I wasn't really in labor and this was still the "practice stuff". While brushing my teeth the midwives were heading out the door and I thought to myself, "Wow, these are really getting intense." They left at 1:15am and John and I crawled into bed. I lay in our bed intensely breathing through contractions and feeling frustrated with myself that I was so loud and most likely keeping John awake. The contractions were getting closer and closer and suddenly rolling right into each other and when I realized this I let out an, "Oh shit." John says that this was when he realized I was really in labor because I don't swear, ever. I got up out of bed hoping to find SOME sign of labor moving forward like my water breaking or a mucus plug but still nothing. I suddenly knew we needed to call Monica who was supposed to come over if we needed anything else the rest of the night. I went to get my phone about 1:40am and as soon as she got on the phone I must of hit transition because I couldn't formulate sentences. John took the phone and told her she needed to come and he quickly began trying to add water back into the half filled pool (we had drained it halfway when we thought nothing was going to happen). John was so confident as he moved back and forth between preparing the pool and his crazy wife going through transition. I went in the bathroom because I wanted to get in the shower saying things like, "Water. Hot. Pain. Shower. Can't do it." John quickly redirected me out of the bathroom and I realized I needed to get in the birth pool NOW. Somehow in all this I went to our room and changed into my "birthing skirt" as I like to be a little more discrete. I climbed into the pool and immediately felt relief from the warm water. I had a contraction and thought, "I can do this." Then when the second contraction came I immediately had the urge to push and started yelling, "Oh my gosh, I have to push. HE'S COMING! HE'S COMING!!" which is when the midwife assistant Sophie came flying in the door, throwing down her things and trying to monitor the baby's heart. John in a panic ran into the kitchen to turn off the pots of water warming on the stove so things weren't boiling over. Sophie told me to try not to push just as another contraction came and as my mind thought "Don't push" my body said, "Too late" and out she flew in one push. I reached down at the same time as Sophie to pull up this slippery little one and pull her to my chest. I lay in the pool with my heart racing for a minute trying to wrap my mind around what just happened. 2:13am and I was holding a baby, at 1:15am I hadn't been convinced that I was in labor. It suddenly occurred to me to look to see if I was holding a boy or girl. I moved the umbilical cord aside and exclaimed, "That's a vagina! I don't know what to do with a vagina!?" John and Sophie laughed. Sophie covered our sweet girl in blankets on me and within a few minutes Monica came flying in the door. I got out of the pool and they helped me to the couch to deliver the placenta (something I'm sure you'll all think of the next time you come to visit our home). John cut the cord and Monica and Sophie began helping me. Our little girl lay on my chest. I lay on the couch holding her as they cleaned things up, the sleeping pill finally kicked in and I dozed a little. Our little girl began nursing immediately and Monica asked what her name was, Raelyn which means lamb or grace.

John and I couldn't agree on a boys name this time around but we had chosen this girl name when we were pregnant with Oliver, an Irish name we both loved. John took down the pool and both ladies commented about how incredibly clean it was. The ladies sat at our kitchen counter talking through the events of the night/early morning trying to figure out when exactly labor kicked in. The two ladies worked to clean me up while John held his daughter.

He took her in to introduce her to her two oldest brothers who had slept through it all. John said that Devon just beamed the biggest proud smile and then both boys rolled back over to sleep. Sophie helped me clean up and get ready to climb into our bed while Monica and John were looking over Raelyn and getting her ready for bed too. Monica and Sophie each hugged me once I was tucked into bed and they let themselves out between 5:30 and 6am. We quickly fell asleep and slept until the boys woke at 8. John got Oliver out of bed while I went to use the bathroom and when I came out Devon and Jack were standing in the hallway and they just stared at my tummy and lack there of. Devon says, "Your big belly is gone, I liked your big belly." I laughed. The boys all went down to the basement by God's grace so we could go back to sleep for another hour and a half. My wonderful friend Katie Griffin was coming at 10:15am to scoop up the boys for the day so we could rest. We climbed out of bed and let the boys take turns holding their new baby sister.

We ate and then slept the day away once the boys were gone. We connected with people sharing our good news and funny story and bonded with our girl. We decided her middle name would be Claire and laughed about the events of her birth.

We continue to be amazed by the way God pulled together each detail. Having Deb come work with me to position this baby really made a big difference, it was her specialty and we needed her. Monica was the midwife that I had prayed would be here for the birth because I bonded most with her and while she missed the birth by minutes she was there when we really needed her. We are thankful that Sophie arrived when she did although John claims he wishes she had been 2 minutes later and he had been the one to help catch Raelyn because it would make the story that much more exciting. I laugh at this comment because WOW has my husband come a ways in his confidence of being a part of the birth process. I am thankful for the pain management that I was able to keep and the tools that I was given to handle it in a way that I truly trusted the Lord and I trusted my body to do what it needed to do. I'm thankful for a husband who truly believes in me and was connected to me in ways that he knew I was in labor and this baby was coming before I even realized it.

She came in her own timing, in her own way and is already calling the shots around here. She's melting our hearts and causing us to just be amazed by God's grace. In our dining room where she was born I have bible verses posted because I wanted God's word present when we brought this baby into the world.

Psalm 61:2- When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 40:11- I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 29:11- The LORD gives His people STRENGTH. The Lord blesses them with peace.

Isaiah 41:10- Don't be afraid for I AM WITH YOU. Don't be discouraged for I AM YOUR GOD. I will strengthen you and I will help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I am surprised by the difference I feel towards a daughter. With the boys I feel a desire to train them to be men of God but when I think of my sweet girl I feel a desire to protect her heart in a way I wouldn't have anticipated.

Welcome to the family sweet girl, we never could have anticipated you. At your 20 week ultrasound your momma wanted to know your gender and your daddy wanted the surprise and you locked those little legs together not even giving us the opportunity to peek giving us the greatest surprise. Your momma was wrong EVERY single time on the gender of her babies, including you and we couldn't be more glad.

Oliver's birth story...

I'm not quite sure where to begin this story. I suppose I should start by explaining "why a home birth?"
When I had my first baby (Devon James) I was walked all over by this feminist doctor out of St. Mary's Ozaukee. From the moment she walked in the room she was clearly frustrated that I had inconvenienced her by going into labor. Every time she came in the room she would make noises of disgust and tell me that I wasn't doing it right. She mentioned doing a C-section many times in my 2 1/2 hours of pushing but by the grace of God Devon came into this world without one. I knew that I didn't want to experience this again. Jack was a completely different story! I had an epidural that allowed me to sleep through most of my labor and I was woken up when it was time to push him out. I was well rested and he flew out in 2 pushes! While I was thankful for how this labor went I also had some side affects from the epidural (I believe). I lost a lot of hair, I would find fist fulls in Jack's hand as well as I broke out in awful hives for almost a week. Two very different experiences. Then our family changed... John came home from a work conference where a speaker spoke about the hidden things in our foods and how they affect us. John immediately went through our cupboards and fridge showing me everything that we ate that was questionable. Even choices like yogurt he showed me that there was about 5 different versions of sugar in it. At this point I was struggling with my weight after having the two boys and wondered how much of it was this "fake food" we were eating. So I started incorporating more natural things, using as many fresh fruits and vegetables as I could when making a meal. I started cutting up fruit onto a plate for us to eat for dessert. The weight came off, I became healthier and I began to LOVE food in a way that I never had before.

After making all these changes to the way we ate it carried over into this pregnancy. I didn't gain very much weight this pregnancy (the picture is of me at 38 weeks) but ate as much as I wanted because the choices I made were better. Instead of having ice cream each day as I craved with Devon and Jack I chose to have grapefruit and sometimes multiple grapefruits! Noticing the different this all made I began to wonder the effects of an epidural on me... on my baby... and then wondering what else may have affected us as well. A friend of mine introduced me to a midwife and before I knew it at 30 weeks we decided we were going to have a home birth. John was skeptical at first, afraid of what could go wrong but before long was excited to tell others about our choice. I knew that if I was in a hospital I would be so tempted to opt out of the pain with an epidural and so of course I went towards the extreme of a home birth.

Both my other boys were almost 2 weeks early so when I made it to week 39 I was feeling SO overdue! It was Thursday morning at 4am I began having uncomfortable contractions, the ones you can't sleep through and hurt. By noon my midwife came over to see how I was doing and told me that I wasn't progressing because our baby's head was too low, blocking my cervix from moving forward. She showed me some positions to do in order to move our baby. I did this the rest of the day. By late afternoon my father in law came and took the boys for us as we hoped that we would have this baby soon. We ate pizza, drank a beer (which I had permission from my midwife) and made cookies from scratch. I was told to try and relax, try to sleep. John and I went to bed and an hour later I got up because I couldn't sleep and began cleaning my house. I eventually called my midwife and she came over to see how things were progressing and to my utter disappointment I had made little progress. I cried. She told me that my body was too exhausted from contracting all day that I couldn't progress and she prescribed me a sleeping pill. She said I needed to completely relax so that my uterus could "reset itself" and move forward. By this point I was willing to try anything. I took the pill, slept 2 hours and woke up at 3:30am and my water had broken! Hallelujah! Because of the pill I was a little groggy, I couldn't figure out how to work my phone to call my midwife! John took over though and really stepped it up. I get emotional even now thinking about how my husband took care of me that night/morning. Our midwives had gotten there around 4am and the rest is a blur for me. While I was having contractions I would just think of John's name and all of a sudden he was there for me to wrap my arms around his neck and breathe through the contraction. I felt grounded, supported in his arms. He filled our birthing pool in between contractions and I was able to get in. The warmth of the water instantly soothed me and I was amazed by how calming it was. I remember being left alone in the room a lot with just John. His presence and arms around me. I remember being in a lot of pain and all of a sudden knowing I needed to get into a certain position to relieve it. John later told me I was swimming all over the place! I had no idea how much time had gone by, it was such a blur in my mind. I was so focused on me breathing and getting into positions. Very calmly my midwife entered the room and told me that I could push out the baby, that it was time if I was ready. I couldn't believe that I was ready for that?! She hadn't checked me the entire time she had been there but I didn't hesitate and began pushing. Fifteen minutes later I felt a head pop out.

The midwives helped me sit back into a position and told me I could reach down and pull up my baby. I reached down, pushing at the same time to pull up a warm, small body. This baby was instantly everything I had hoped for and imagined and I burst into tears at the sight of that sweet face. I hugged my baby close with John's arms wrapped around me. We were still connected by the chord and the midwives waited until every ounce of nutrition had entered my sweet baby. It all of sudden occurred to me, "Is it a boy or girl?" The midwives laughed and responded, "Well your the one holding him, take a look!" I peeked and was so excited to realize we had another boy. They asked me what his name was and without hesitation I replied, "Oliver Reilly".

They helped me out of the pool and into the living room to lie down. John held Oliver while they took care of stitching me (Oliver came out with one arm up, causing a tear). It was all a blur again and I could feel that the sleeping pill was still in my system and I needed rest. The midwives weighed my sweet boy, 7 lb. 2 oz. and measured him (21 1/4 in.). John made me a bagel that I took a few bites of (the midwives won't leave until you eat something). Soon I was all tucked in. I felt nurtured, cared for and so comfortable in my own house. I couldn't believe that in just over 3 hours since my water had broken I was holding a sweet baby boy, born at 6:44am.

John and I spent the day laying around the house together, staring at this little miracle in our arms. John's dad brought our boys to visit their new baby brother for a short time and then we were content to sleep and rest after they left. Our midwife came back to check on us the following 3 days and was so encouraging as to how well I was healing and how fantastic Oliver was doing.

Oliver is our healthiest baby, gaining weight far better than his brothers. I have also had my best recovery yet and hardly lost any hair, yay! Five weeks after Oliver was born I taught my first yoga class and it went wonderfully! There are so many benefits to going more natural that it is hard to cover them all. There are so many interventions that are unnecessary. By working with a midwife I was given every option and explanation. I was able to make the choices on what I wanted to have done instead of being told what was done to my baby.





My midwife smiled at me before she left the house and called Oliver's birth a "pure birth". I loved the term and stared at my little one knowing I wanted to give him the very best I could and then wishing I would have known what I do now to do things differently with my older boys. Instead of regret I am choosing to focus on who God is refining me to be.

"Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31. I know that the Lord has been preparing me for this by changing the way that we eat and the way we live. He is the potter, we are the clay.



Every birth is unique, no story is better than another but I can tell you the difference I experienced with Oliver was that I felt empowered through his birth instead of discouraged. I was told that I could do it instead of being told that I needed an intervention to accomplish this. I relied on my husband in ways I wasn't able to with my older boys, I needed him. The days following Oliver's birth I would come to tears over how much I love my husband (John would joke about my rushes of hormones) but I know that a big part of it was the bonding that we were able to experience through this birth. I praise the Lord for providing for us. Isaiah 58:11 says, "The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs and will strengthen your frame." My prayer for other mothers out there is that they not fear childbirth but experience God's design of it, whatever that might be for them. Home birth isn't for everyone, I am not sure I would have been ready for it with my first baby but I am so blessed by this experience... I want others to be blessed as well.

School for them, time for me!

Where have I been? I guess thats the hard part about blogging, you can fall off the wagon so easily and getting back on after so long takes motivation. My mom has instructed me to blog about the boys first days of school because the story is pretty great.

Devon started school a few weeks ago, he was so excited and even more excited when he realized Jack was going to be coming to HIS school.

When Devon started school last year it was a rough transition. I cried, he cried and I felt lost wanting to go get him all day. Thankfully the year got better, maybe its always this way when your first goes off to school? Well I've been praying about Jack going to school and this next transition for our family. With Devon we started him in 4k which at Zion is an all day, every day program. This year with Jack we chose to start 3k two days a week. My hope was that this would transition both of us better.

Tuesday morning I got up with Devon as he tends to wake up closer to 6:30 and started getting ready. About 7 I went up to wake up Jack, picking him up out of bed as he limply lay on my shoulder. Somehow we all were ready and made it out the door. In the car Devon started a pep talk with Jack, something like this, "Jack, you need to be nice to people and then they be your friends. If people not be nice to you, you say 'Be nice to me please'. If people be mean to you then I come and I say, 'Be nice to my brother'." I'm grinning from the front seat listening to the guidance from an older brother. We parked and made our way into the school, all the while Devon is still chiming in with advice, "School is fun. You need to be quiet, listen and play. You get to play with friends, sing songs, do games, draw pictures, play with friends...If you want me to come by you, tell your teacher".

I didn't know what Jack's first drop off would be like so we walked Devon to his class first and then went back to Jack's. Jack saw toys in the room and quickly took off inside, leaving me at the door dumbfounded that, "Could it really be this easy?!". I snuck out and headed to my yoga class just up the road. It was FANTASTIC to have a few hours to myself. I went to pick up Jack and I stood anxiously waiting outside the classroom door, DYING to know how he did. His teacher came to the door and calmly called Jack who came running to me. As I'm putting his backpack on he says, "Mom, I missed you today! But why did you come and get me, I was having SO much fun." Needless to say he had a great day and was quite dissapointed to realize he had to wait 2 days to go back again. On Thursday I wondered if he would get sad at all knowing that I would leave him but yet again, the boy saw playdoh and it was, "Mom who?". Having a few hours to myself has been great but honestly my favorite part of it all is when I go and pick him up and he excitedly tells me all about his day. We go home, eat lunch together and then nap together. He also has been napping longer on school days so I find I wake up and sit there staring at him and wanting him to wake up and play with me, what I am 4?

He looks too little to go to school to me, his Buzz Lightyear backpack is bigger than he is but he loves it... and I suppose that when they are ready, they are ready, even if your not! I praise God for my sweet boys and thank HIM for providing beyond my expectations. We will see who else HE provides come February/March when Phillip baby #3 makes an appearance. I bet your wondering whether we'll have 3 boys or finally have another girl around, so are we! Too bad your going to have to wait until February/March to find out!